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A Buddhist
said:
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- Dear Master,
I want to become a monk, but I don't know if I can practice
completely. If I can't practice, people will laugh at me...
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That is the
state of fear and anxiety, so you don't have a decisive
decision. The first sentence that I would like to emphasize
is:
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- To be
successful, you must overcome your fear.
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There are many
things in your life that are worth fearing. The survival
instinct is always in the subconscious and creates undefined
fears. It helps you survive and perceive danger, but if you
don't overcome your fear, you cannot grow up, be strong, and
cannot do anything. Through the story of controlling fear,
The Karate Kid is a movie about a black boy who followed his
mother to China to work. The boy said:
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- Whether I
win or lose, I still have to do it so that I am no longer
afraid...
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When you were
a child, you didn't know anything to be afraid of. You can
run around in dangerous places, play with objects that can
cause injury... But when you grow up, the more pressure you
have, the more knowledge you have, the more things you fear,
such as:
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- When going
to school, you are afraid of getting bad grades and being
reprimanded by your teachers, and beaten by your parents.
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- When
graduating, you are afraid of not being able to find a job
to support yourself.
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- When going
to work, you are afraid of being fired, afraid of failure,
afraid of being laughed at, afraid of being infamous.
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- When
retiring, you are afraid of being lonely, afraid of illness
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- For those
with a good heart, you are worried that you will not be able
to practice fully and be laughed at... etc.
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The fear
surrounding you makes you almost assume that fear is
obvious; if you are not afraid of this, you are afraid of
something else...
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One thing is
for sure: Fear, that is, a reserved state of mind, is also
good. You have to know how to worry, to be afraid, then you
will know that you still have many shortcomings, then you
will have the motivation to find out the problem and the
cause of fear. As long as you don't simply fear and keep
being afraid, you will step back. Being worried and afraid
is not bad, but always living in fear without being able to
escape is bad. Every fear has a cause and can be solved, as
long as you are truly determined.
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Return to
Karate Kid is a movie about a black boy who followed his
mother to China to work. Here, he encountered problems with
some native boys and was bullied by them. Initially, the boy
was determined to learn martial arts just to defeat those
bad friends, but when he entered the ring, after going
through the elimination rounds with many injuries, and
especially being almost unable to use one leg due to an
injury from the previous round, the boy left a profound
quote:
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- I still want
to compete because I am still afraid. I don't want today to
end with this fear. Whether I win or lose, I still have to
do it so that I am no longer afraid.
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According to
this boy, and if you are this boy, you should first identify
what that anxiety is, then you can confide in someone for
spiritual support, and you can directly face the fear
gradually... At the same time, you should also find a way to
help the brain overcome fear in sleep. Those are the
suggestions of Mayra Bitsko, a familiar writer on the
familyshare page, author of the novel A Second Chance and
the short story The Past Beckons.
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According to
Mayra Bitsko, if you live in fear, it means you have not
lived fully. Fear never leads you to the next steps in life,
and you lose the opportunity to explore new things.
Unfortunately, many of you have not realized that worries
control you, preventing you from enjoying life to the
fullest. And one thing worth mentioning, most of you do not
consider overcoming yourself as a life goal, so the fears
follow you forever.
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With a
progressive spirit, some of you want to be helped, but you
don't know how. Maybe you are too embarrassed to ask someone
for help, you are afraid of being judged or teased.
Therefore, you face your fear alone. However, you should
trust in, maybe:
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- Your
partner,
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- Your parents
or
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- Another
relative in the family.
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- On the
spiritual side, you should trust in the guidance of monks or
nuns.
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And get their
help to overcome your fear. At least with mental support,
you will have the motivation to overcome your worries. Who
knows, the person you ask for help also has worries, and
both of you can overcome obstacles.
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Sometimes fear
can be something that you have to face every day, but never
let it invade your life. One way or another, you need to
control your fear. Pushing back fear is the determination to
overcome it. For example, if you want to do something to
change your life but are still hesitant, here are three
suggestions for overcoming fear:
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1- Identify
what you are worried about. Ask yourself why those worries
come to you. If possible, write it down on paper and think
about and analyze all the roots that form this fear.
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2- Confide in
someone. You don't have to be ashamed to share your feelings
with your relatives or close friends. They can listen and
maybe give you useful advice to overcome a similar fear that
they have encountered. And even if there is no specific
solution, those people can help you a lot mentally.
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3- Face your
fear directly. For example, at work, your supervisor is
annoying, or those strict colleagues do not help you.
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That way, you
have proven that you are stronger than it. All you need to
do is think and act.
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Conquering
fear is a long process and requires investment, but don't be
discouraged because the fear will gradually disappear over
time. Remember, nothing is too difficult, as long as you
always keep your spirit and body healthy to overcome your
challenges. That has brought a much better quality of life.
If you are following one or all of the above suggestions,
then consider yourself gradually conquering your fears. Fear
is very afraid of the future. Only when you believe that the
future is uncertain will you stop trying to guess what the
future will be. Only then will you stop being afraid.
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When I was a
child, I was afraid of going to the dentist, so when I knew
I had an appointment that day, I was anxious and worried
about what the doctor would do. But one time, I went and
found out that the appointment was canceled, from which I
learned a lesson:
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- Worrying
before the event happens is a waste of time and effort!
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The future has
not yet arrived, and cannot be certain. That uncertainty can
resolve fear. But if you do not know how to use wisdom, fear
cannot be resolved. There is a story:
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- There was a
boy who wanted to become a monk, his parents brought him to
the Temple, this boy was ordained by his master as a novice
and put in a closed and locked hut in the temple. In the hut
there was a six-meter long lake with a narrow wooden bridge
across it. The novice was told not to go near the lake
because the lake did not contain water but acid.
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And the Master
said:
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- In the next
seven days, I will test your ability. You will walk across
the lake on that wobbly plank. Be very careful. Do you see
the bones scattered at the bottom of the lake?
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The novice
looked down at the lake and saw many bones at the bottom.
The Master continued:
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- Those are
the bones of novices like you who fell into the lake.
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After saying
that, the master took the novice to the yard under the
bright sunlight to practice walking across the lake. Here,
he had prepared a plank with a bridge just like the narrow
plank across the acid lake, the only difference was that the
plank was placed on two bricks in the middle of the yard.
Then, for seven consecutive days, the novice monk did not
need to chant or meditate, but only practiced walking on
that plank. It was easy. After a few days, he could walk
back and forth, even blindfolded, without falling.
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The day of the
test came, and the novice monk was brought into the tent
with the acid lake, and the bones were still there and were
floating at the bottom of the lake. He walked to the head of
the bridge, looked towards the master. At that moment, the
master commanded:
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- Walk
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The plank
across the acid lake seemed much narrower than the plank in
the yard. The novice monk started walking. But his steps
were not steady, he staggered when he got close to the
middle of the bridge. Then he staggered, and finally the
novice monk lost all confidence, walked unsteadily, and fell
into the lake!
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The monk's
master laughed loudly as he splashed water. It turned out to
be lake water, not acid lake. The bones were fake plastic
pieces that were placed at the bottom of the lake to make it
look scary, but in fact, it was a scene that the master
arranged to test the disciple's courage. After a comfortable
laugh, the master continued:
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- What made
you fall into the lake?
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Without
waiting for the monk to answer, he immediately replied:
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- Fear made
you fall; it was fear itself.
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Through this
story, I would like to emphasize once again:
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- To be
successful, you must overcome your fear.
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Whether you
are a Buddhist or not, on the spiritual path or in life, you
need to face some facts in life. According to Dale Carnegie,
fear is real, but he knows how to face it and let everyone
know that he will fight to the end. Below are some excerpts
from Dale Carnegie's collection of beautiful words. His
words always show the spirit of not giving in to fear:
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01- You can
conquer any fear if you will. Remember, fear exists nowhere
except in your mind.
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02- When you
are afraid, always remember what you have to do. If you are
well prepared, you will not feel afraid.
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03- If you
want to build courage, do the thing you fear and keep doing
it until you have a long record of success behind you. This
is the quickest and surest way to conquer fear that has ever
been discovered.
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04- How to
conquer fear: Decide on a course of action and follow it.
Always keep busy and work so passionately that you forget
about fear.
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05- To conquer
fear and worry, keep busy!
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06- Fear is a
liar and a coward; to conquer fear, you just have to forget
it exists. You can do it.
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07- Inaction
breeds doubt and fear. On the contrary, action breeds
confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don't
sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
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08- Take a
good look at your current fears and see how many of them are
baseless. If you are honest with yourself, you will be able
to see that most of them are unfounded.
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09- If you
want to conquer fear, don't think about yourself. Try to
think about others, and your fear will disappear.
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10- When you
are afraid of a task, jump into it and accomplish the
impossible. It can be done; if you have absolute confidence
in yourself, you can do it.
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11- Take a
chance! Life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is
the one who dares and is courageous.
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12- You will
never be defeated if you think it will succeed.
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13- Build
success from failure. Discouragement and failure are two
solid steps to success. Nothing else can help you much if
you do not seek and accumulate experience. Look back, do you
see where failure helped you?
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14- The way to
get enthusiasm is to believe in what you are doing, and
believe in yourself and really want to accomplish something.
Enthusiasm will follow like day and night.
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15- You will
get nowhere in this world without the desire to do
something.
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In short, to
be successful in any aspect of life, you must first learn to
control your fear. When you have mastered your fear, you
will see clearly that everything comes from the mind, from
your decisive decision, because everything is created by the
mind. When a hundred people look at a person, each person
sees that person differently:
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- Some people
see it as beautiful,
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- Others see
it as ugly,
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- Some people
see it as neither beautiful nor ugly.
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Those
different opinions come from the minds of the observers. How
the object appears before your eyes is due to your mind, not
from the object. Similarly, success or failure comes from
the mind, it depends on how you observe the object, how you
interpret it, give it a name, that is, identify it.
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Everything
comes from the mind, or everything comes from the mind; this
is the basic principle of Buddhism, but Western scientists
today also agree that:
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- Even the
existence of an atom is related to the mind of the observer.
Everything is a creation of the mind, including the mind
itself.
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Since
everything comes from the mind, the mind is the fundamental
factor in creating failure or success.
