DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
- SOW AND GROW KINDNESS
By Nhat Quan
Kindness is something that each of you yearns for, compassion,
spiritual beauty, all of you have these things. But you don't
notice, don't care, and haven't woken it up yet so it's still
Because you were sleeping, many of you thought you didn't have
it, so you went looking outside. Sometimes you think you have
found your ideal partner who embodies everything that is
considered good and beautiful. Your audience could be:
- A hero
- A romantic object,
- A friend,
- A spiritual teacher.
You ask for such an object, then put all your trust and love,
seeing all the good things in that person. But after a while,
you discover that you had a wrong perception about that person
and become frustrated.
Remember, beauty and goodness are always within each of you.
This is the basic teaching of Buddhism. A true teacher, a true
spiritual partner, is one who encourages you to look deeply
into your own beauty, into the life and love you are looking
for. Buddha is the one who helps you discover Buddha nature
According to Buddha, the birth of a human being is not a
beginning but a continuation. When you were born, all the
seeds of kindness, of cruelty, of awakening, were also planted
inside you. But whether kindness or cruelty develops in you
depends on how you cultivate it. But you are ignorant and do
not know, that's why, when he attained enlightenment under the
Bodhi tree, Buddha declared:
- How strange! Strange! All sentient beings have the full
wisdom and virtue of the Tathagata, but because of ignorance,
delusion, and attachment, they cannot realize it.
- Tathagata is a Buddha who has become Buddha, sentient beings
are Buddhas who will become Buddha.
Buddha saw that day and night, you are searching for what is
already within you. You can call it Buddha nature, true
freedom, the foundation for all peace and happiness. The
possibility of being enlightened is not something that someone
else can give you. A teacher can only help you eliminate the
unenlightened elements within you so that enlightenment can be
revealed. If you have faith in beauty and goodness, your
teacher is you.
Therefore, you do not need to try to build any standards of
happiness that you have to pressure yourself into. You have to
give yourself the comfort to relax without worrying about
other people's praise or criticism. You must practice
contentment and never intend to do something different from
everyone else in life. If there are any imperfections, you
must review them and make them perfect. Wanting to be
beautiful in the eyes of others is a good motivation to
improve yourself. Either way, you have to be a confident
person and always know what you want. The inner spirit
determines a person's happiness and peace. So you need to put
aside your shyness to do what you want, without having to
worry about other people's judgments.
No one has the right to pull you down, but you will go down
yourself if you keep losing track of what you have achieved.
Therefore, you should not allow yourself to be too lenient,
you should not disappoint the people you love when you realize
what you want in life, there is no need to be distracted by
someone's words, you just need to live with true nature and
positivity for what you want.
Everyone knows that time passes and never comes back. But you
also don't need to sit and mourn for your unlucky, miserable,
or happy life. You must make an effort to pursue your heart's
desire. Whoever is still prejudiced or criticized is their
business, not yours. Your business is to still live a
meaningful life, for the joy and value of yourself and those
who love you. So you must determine sovereignty, each of you
is the owner of your own being with the five elements. These
- Action and
Be conscious of sovereignty, and your practice is to look
deeply into these five elements and discover your true nature.
Your true nature of your suffering, your happiness, your
peace, and your courage.
When you forget yourself, you are not responsible for
mastering yourself. Every day you have not practiced, instead
of taking care of your being you have run away from it and
allowed conflicts and disorders to arise. You are afraid of
returning to your true self and facing those difficulties and
suffering. So whenever you have free time, you watch
television, newspapers, music, chat, or the phone to forget
and run away from the reality of the elements that make up who
you are. Then from there, you think:
- I suffer too much. I have too many problems. I don't want to
go back to them anymore.
So the tendency to sow kindness is for you to return to
yourself and put things in order. The Buddha taught you very
carefully how you can do this. He has told you that to cleanse
and transform your own elements, you need to cultivate the
energy of mindfulness. This is the element that will give you
the strength to return to yourself.
The energy of mindfulness is something real that can be
cultivated. When you walk mindfully, the energy of mindfulness
brings you back to the present moment. When you wash dishes or
clothes or eat mindfully, you invest all of yourself in the
present moment and awareness of the food and the people eating
with you. You can cultivate the energy of mindfulness when you
walk when you breathe, when you work, and this energy will
help you protect yourself, and give you the courage to come
back to yourself, to see and Embrace what is within you.
When you start cultivating kindness according to Buddha's
teachings, you start living like a part-time Buddha and slowly
you become a full-time Buddha. Sometimes you fall back and
become a part-time Buddha again, but with steady practice, you
will become a full-time Buddha. This is completely within your
reach because before, like you, Buddha was also a human being.
You can become a Buddha whenever you like.
Becoming a Buddha is not so difficult. Don't set a standard
that's so high that it's almost unimaginable, meaning that if
you want to become a Buddha, you have to do this, or you have
to do that... When you set a standard that's too high, you
think you're on your own and can not do it. But in fact, a
true Buddha is nothing more than an enlightened person, a
person capable of love and forgiveness.
In every human being, there are seeds of kindness and
enlightenment. You all have the seed of Buddha nature. Enjoy
this miracle, because if you don't become a Buddha, who will?
To give the Buddha seeds within you a chance to grow, you must
first plant them, and then water them. When you act like a
progressive person who has the seeds of goodness within you,
you will feel empowered. If you act as if you don't believe in
your own inherent goodness, you blame others for your
suffering and loss of happiness.
You can use the goodness within yourself to transform
suffering and your tendencies toward anger, cruelty, and fear.
But many times you want to throw away your suffering because
you don't want to see it. It may sound harsh to say this, but
the truth is, that your suffering is the fertilizer that
provides understanding to nourish your happiness and the
happiness of those around you. So you don't need to throw it
away if you want to be happy. This is similar to a gardener.
First, you must take care of your garden and master the art of
gardening. In each of your gardens, there are flowers and
sometimes also grass and trash. Flowers represent good
qualities, gentleness, and serenity. Trash is the anger, fear,
discrimination, and jealousy within you. So if:
- If you throw the garbage of hatred, greed, and ego, you will
strengthen the negative seeds.
- If you plant the flowers of compassion, understanding, and
love, you will strengthen the positive seeds.
What grows is up to you.
And if you don't know how to water and be selective in your
own garden, you won't be able to water the flowers in the
garden of someone you love. If you take care of your own
garden well, you will be able to take care of other people's
gardens well. If you know that, just a period of practice can
give you a big difference. You will have more and be smarter
enough to work. You need to pay attention to your actions and
thoughts constantly, not allowing them to get out of your
control. You can do it. Every time you practice mindful
walking, investing your mind and body in each step, you are
taking your situation into your own hands. Whenever you do
anything, you are yourself, you are your own master, and you
are the gardener in your own garden.
Having succeeded with yourself and with the person you love,
you will become a community of two, and now you can be a
refuge for a third, then for a fourth, and more. In this way,
a union will develop. There is mutual understanding between
you and the person you love. When there is mutual
understanding, the relationship will be good, then happiness
will appear and you can become a refuge for others.
If you have a feud and want to make peace with someone else,
you must first go home to yourself. You must go to your home
to plant flowers of peace, compassion, understanding, and joy
in your garden. Then you can reach out to your partner and be
patient, and compassionate.
When you collaborate on something with others, you are making
a promise to develop together, sharing achievements and
progress. It is your responsibility to take care of each
If you've been working with your partner for a few years, you
probably think you know everything about this person, but
that's not the case. Scientists can study a grain of dust for
years, but they still don't dare assume they understand
everything about it. If just a speck of dust is complex, how
can you know everything about another person? Your partner
needs your attention and water for positive seeds. If you
don't pay attention, your relationship will wither.
You must learn the art of creating happiness. If during your
childhood you saw your parents or anyone else doing anything
to create happiness in the family, now you know what to do.
But many of you still don't know what to do. The issue is not
right or wrong, but which one gets more, which one is more
Living with anyone is the same, living is an art. Even with a
lot of goodwill, you can still make others unhappy. The
essence of the art of making others happy is mindfulness. When
you are mindful, you will be more skillful. In this way you
first consider yourself, you have two hands:
- Right hand and left hand.
Even though the right hand and left hand are different, the
two have never fought. Look at your hands. The fingers are
like five brothers from the same family. Let's say they are a
family of five members. You remember that if one person is
hurt, everyone is hurt, and then you have tact in dealing.
Every time a finger on any hand is injured, you notice that
the other hand naturally helps the hand that has the injured
finger. So you must have something like body love. Sometimes
they help each other, and sometimes they act separately, but
they never fight each other.
If others are happy then you are also happy. Happiness is not
a personal matter.
When you see your partner as not separate from you, as no one
is better or worse or even equal, then you will feel happy.
In short, cultivating kindness means you practice the goal of
practicing mindfulness, you learn wisdom in behavior. You are
noble thanks to virtue through thoughts, words, and actions.
People who practice mindfulness diligently will gain tact in
their behavior. Once you don't discriminate between yourself,
your partner, and everyone else, then your love will grow and
nothing can stop you. To do this, you should learn to
If you have any recommendations,
please e-mail to: