There are too many compliments and criticisms in this world.
That's why many people are busy looking for answers to the
- How to stop compliments and criticisms?
So, those who are confused about praise and criticism, do
not make an appointment but meet. Before and after they all
came to see the Buddha, and asked:
- World-Honored One, how can we not be influenced by the
praise and criticism of people?
The Buddha of great kindness and compassion just looked at
them and smiled, and said:
- If you want to stop complimenting and criticizing, you can
only let go.
But there are still people who are not satisfied, so they
ask the Buddha:
- Dear World-Honored One! There are billions of people in
this world, and there are billions of languages to praise
and criticize. But the way you give is only one, all the
same, how to solve the problem.
The Buddha calmly asked the man:
- At night when you go to bed, do you dream or not?
The man answered.
- Dear World-Honored One! I often dream too,
Buddha asked again.
- So are the dreams usually the same or different?
The man answered voice troubled.
- Dear World-Honored One, it's usually not the same,
Buddha smiled and asked.
- Do you have nightmares?
The man respectfully answered.
- Yes, I usually have nightmares too!
The Buddha smiled and said:
You sleep a thousand thousand times, and there are thousands
of times when you dream that you have nightmares, but you
also have good dreams. But the only way out of nightmares or
good dreams is very similar. That is waking up!
The man, after hearing the Buddha's answer, suddenly became
enlightened, folded his hands respectfully, and then
withdrew without saying a word.
Praise and criticism in life are like a dream. As long as
you definitely give up the idea of letting go, you can wake
up from a nightmare. No matter what compliments or
criticisms about you, where the source comes from, the
method to remove them is only one:
- Know how to let go.
For those who often have a lot of friction, or face many
challenges, and especially a little bit of studying the
Buddhadharma, they all say:
- Human life is a sea of suffering, the world is full of
worries and troubles. All things are governed by the law of
Just born, crying out loud. Then grow up, and enter life
with many beautiful dreams. Instantly, the hair was dew
point, the eyes were blurred, the back was tired, and the
legs were slow. Then in the end, the two hands let go, going
into the ground, leaving behind all the things that had to
be done in a lifetime. About human life as a dream,
Westerners also have a saying:
- Life is too short.
However, when you are still healthy, you are busy making
money, worrying about strengthening your position and fame,
and have no time to live a true life. Rarely do you prepare
your mind to accept the impermanence of old age? When the
hair was dew point, the skin was wrinkled, the eyes were
blurred, the legs were slow, then they were startled, then
sad, disappointed, and regretful for a past time. At that
time, any amount of money becomes useless. Eat and drink,
you must abstain from this, abstain from that because sugar
is high, and cholesterol is high. You can't eat hard food
because your teeth have fallen teeth and loose teeth. Going
out to play is not dared because of poor health, and aching
knees. You can't listen to music or watch movies because
your ears are lost, and your eyes are already poor.
Some Asians are thrifty, hard-working, and tight-lipped to
have a little property to save. Working is constantly
forgetting the weekend, regardless of holidays or New Year's
Day. They do a lot, but they rarely dare to have fun and
enjoy themselves like Europeans and Americans… All their
lives they worked hard, fasted, abstained from wearing
clothes to save, and bought a house, a field, and a garden
so that one day they would leave it to their children and
grandchildren. It's a loss for you to live like that. There
are people who are ambitious and have needs, so they fight
and compete. All your life, you are busy looking for things
that are impermanent, but you forget the word leisure. Even
so, there is still a lot of praise and criticism, then
sorrow and suffering... These things are all impermanent
after all, which causes you anxiety, stress, loss of
appetite, and insomnia. And if prolonged, it can lead to
Indeed, this life is very short, every minute you care about
something that is not good, compliments and criticisms are
lost a minute of joy that cannot be regained. So you should
not waste time, should not pay attention to the praise and
criticism of others, and even more should not waste your
life judging other people's mistakes. For the praise and
blame of men in the world only state:
- Love is good, but hate is bad
You are not without self-respect, but consider it
unnecessary to bother. There is a story that says:
There was a young couple who had just moved into a new
neighborhood. The next morning, at the time the couple had
breakfast, the wife saw her neighbor spreading the cloth on
The wife exclaimed:
- The cloth is really dirty, she doesn't know how to wash
it, maybe she needs a new kind of soap to clean it better.
The husband looked at the scene but remained silent. So, the
same comments kept coming out of his wife's mouth every day,
after seeing her neighbor drying clothes in the yard.
A month later, one morning, the wife was surprised to see
that the neighbor's cloth was very clean, so she said to her
- Look! Now she knows how to wash the cloth. Who taught her
The husband replied:
- Are not. This morning he got up early and cleaned the
window glass of our house.
In fact, each of you is like the wife in the other story.
You are looking at life, looking at people through a prism
patched with color streaks of emotions:
- Love, hate, anger, and hatred...,
And let it settle in the dust of prejudice and painful
experiences, and then you become judgmental, resentful, and
insecure about what you consider to be the faults of others.
One thing that is easy to recognize is that when the mood is
happy, when you look at everyone, you feel comfortable,
whatever happens, it is easy to forgive. You can smile at
the mischief of children, be tolerant and forgiving enough
to endure a harsh word, and things that seem difficult to
accept, you can easily compromise. At that time, it seemed
that the whole world became peaceful, everything went
Yet, just a little anxiety rising in the heart, the worries
about the past, and the fear of the future will immediately
make the already beautiful world turn into a place full of
bad things, annoying. Then the shouting and laughing of the
children will become unpleasant sounds, an unpleasant word
that easily makes you angry or hurt, and small things that
normally are not worth worrying about, suddenly become an
In fact, it's not that the outside world is the problem, or
that other people are too wrong, but the problem lies in
your own mind. When you look at life with a troubled mind,
filled with negative emotions and prejudices, you see that
everyone is wrong, and anything you touch turns into hurt.
You always have two tendencies: Looking at the things you
like, the people you love with pink glasses, and conversely,
looking at the things you don't want, the people you don't
like with black negative glasses.
Due to the habit of exaggerating all the virtues of the
people you like, they become too shimmery, too wonderful in
your perception. Every word they say, everything they do
makes you consider the truth, even when they are wrong, you
can hardly see and realize their wrong.
For example, when couples first fall in love, for them, the
other is always beautiful, cute, and full of advantages. If
you accidentally discover that the other person is doing
something bad, you are still capable and have enough reason
to fool yourself that they are not wrong.
Of course, it's because of the pink glasses that make your
vision appear distorted, you don't see people as they really
are. Then when the inner love gradually decreased over the
years, the illusory image in the heart also collapsed
accordingly. You will see in the other person more and more
mistakes and shortcomings, and you become confused and
miserable, to the point of doubting even yourself.
You wish to have a little innocence, pure like a child so
that you can be easily happy and easily forgive.
The same goes for the people you despise and criticize. You
tore up their mistakes, going about the flaws of the person
you think is unacceptable. Then, at some point, when people
you still consider enemies in your mind, are willing to help
and be kind to you, will you be ashamed of your conscience?
Remember, when you speak out about mistakes in others, you
inadvertently transmit negative emotions, and insecurity to
the listener. Your mindstream also becomes messy, full of
troubles just like the story you are telling. Accordingly,
the impression that you leave in the hearts of others is
only negative feelings, so naturally, they will apply that
judgment and scrutiny back to you.
These two extremes, including exaggerating your likes and
reacting vehemently to things you don't like, are all
generally incorrect ways of seeing the world. Should you use
the clear eyes of wisdom, use a kind heart to see life.
Time has made you lose your clear vision of the present
life, lose the happy vibes before the life that is full of
magic and peace. You don't have time to stop to listen to
yourself and take care of yourself, but keep running around
in thoughts of right and wrong, having to worry about life
and other people.
After all, no matter who's a fault, it doesn't affect your
character and quality. It certainly doesn't make you any
prettier when you criticize others. But it is the negative
attitude, the habit of criticism that makes you make
mistakes with yourself and become worse in the eyes of
To find other people's faults is to bring their own
afflictions to your mind. Every minute you focus on
something bad, you lose a minute of joy and peace that
cannot be regained. Life is too short, you are not capable
and no one will have the ability and responsibility to hold
you to the moments of life that are passing by. So you
should not waste your life's time judging and criticizing
the mistakes of others.
The way you see others is actually a reflection of your
- A person who is in need will be annoyed with those who are
- An angry person will always see others attacking and
- A person who is not honest will find everyone full of
All those negative thoughts and feelings, arise from a lack
of peace of mind. So what you need to do, is to go back
inside your inner self to drain the land of your mind which
is full of storms of praise and criticism, anger and
How many of you are still yearning for a life like your
childhood? How long has it been since you couldn't put on a
full smile? You wish to have a little innocence, pure like a
child so that you can be easily happy and easily forgive.
But who has made you more and more arid, impatient, and
unhappy? Why have you always been lonely, lost in your
family, among your friends, and next to billions of people
on this earth?
It's because you stubbornly wear glasses full of praise,
sorrow, and wrong glasses that separate you from present
happiness. Once you are brave enough to take off those
glasses, life will appear fresh, the world will be a place
for you to experience bliss to the fullest.
Everyone's life has a lot of hardships that cannot be
reversed, everyone has a lot of regrets that can't be
recovered. But you guys are so strange that you keep holding
praise and criticism in your heart without giving up. Maybe
on the silent nights, you will have to suffer for these
unnecessary things, you will cry, and you will resent heaven
You keep wanting peace in your mind, but you don't want to
let go of anything yourself, so suffering keeps following
you around. After all, in the end, the person who can save
you from suffering is none other than yourself. Life is full
of burdens, but you can choose. Which burden you want to
carry, whether you want to throw it down or not, is up to
Because after all, the best way to deal with sadness,
praise, and criticism is to let go of all troubles. Let go
of the fighting mind, and you will see compassion, let go of
the justification mind, and you will see the light of
wisdom, knowing forgiveness is liberation, knowing
satisfaction is letting go:
- No turmoil in mind,
- Not stuck in love,
- Not afraid of the future,
- Do not think of the past;
Lift up your head and smile to watch the wind and clouds
dissipate, sit still, and enjoy when the sun goes down and
when the moon rises. And always remember, the only way to
get rid of the entanglement of nightmares is to wake up, to
forget all the misfortunes, or compliments of life, the only
way is to let go.
In short, if you want to have a healthy body and a peaceful
mind, you must know how to let go of all praise and
criticism. You consider all praise or criticism like the
wind blowing, the clouds flying. If so, peace and happiness
will come. With happiness, you always feel happy, love life,
and know how to enjoy life.
Peace of mind and body is knowing how to be happy with what
is within your reach, and accepting what you cannot avoid.
Live in harmony with everyone around you, without any
attachment or jealousy.
When you get old, you can't make any money, but fortunately,
you are living in a modern country like the United States,
so everyone has an allowance for the elderly to be able to
support themselves without having to rely on their children
and grandchild. Older Buddhists should also be happy to be
able to come to this country, instead of being resentful
with a modest amount of money that cannot be spent as widely
as friends who are still working. In life each person has a
situation, happy with your situation, no comparison, no
covetousness, and no jealousy with those around. Knowing
enough is enough.
It is said that over 60 years old, every day of life is a
reward that grace has bestowed on you. Then be happy, enjoy
the blessings that you have, of course not everyone has,
- Whether your life is happy or sad depends on your attitude
towards your own life.