By Nhat Quan
Of the five precepts of lay Buddhists, the fourth is:
- Do not lie
Don't lie about the language, but don't lie about your body either. Because lying about the language the consequences are:
- Blind, deaf, dumb, lisp
In addition, lying is offensive to the listener, so as a Buddhist, you should not lie when it is not necessary. Because when you tell a lie your eyes darken, your heart beats faster and your gestures become awkward, your appearance shoves, to the wise they immediately recognize it.
Liars only know how to take advantage of honest people. Honest people do not like lies, are wary of liars but are also ready to fight frankly with liars. Blameful and pitiful for those who are dishonest, who behave in a trickier manner but think they can hide people's eyes.
There are also some of you who think it's wise to deceive others, in fact, they only make people believe you for a moment, and honest people will gain trust in others in the long run. Wise people are often pleasing to others and easy to achieve, so most people aspire to become wise people soon. To get there quickly, some of you have tried to please others by all means, including lies and double life. But one sage said:
- The highest wisdom is sincerity
Honesty means being honest with yourself personally to everyone in society. It is expressed not only in words but it must be deeply rooted in a sincere heart, with real feelings. It is the most magical remedy to help you create a balance in your life. But all honesty must be shown intact, kindness, and culture, so it's easy for you to distinguish real genuine wisdom from shrewdness or cunning for profit.
So sincerity is the truth from the heart, different from lies, deceit, and tricks. And you are honestly an honest person, kind in content, delicate in nature, calm, and gentle in all forms.
In daily life, you have to interact with countless people with whom you must communicate regularly. If you lack sincerity in contact, it will make others hesitate. This does not benefit you on your way to finding the future. On the contrary, being honest always creates trust around you. Those who live with you, they feel secure and at peace because they don't have to be scrutinized, reserved, or skeptical. So sincerity is a means to win the hearts of others. In daily communication or an important business, honesty is also an indispensable condition.
If you live in a society that is always competed by others, the principle of sincerity must be preserved more than ever. Because honestly, you will create your own personal prestige and make everyone around you admire you. From admiring you personally, one can talk about lasting intimate issues.
Acting with honesty will give others the confidence, charisma, and strength to succeed in life. Therefore, as a Buddhist, you must practice honesty skillfully in order, to be honest with others and with yourself. That is the key to success and wisdom beyond the wise, and ultimately happiness and liberation.
Simply because honesty is always the most popular thing in life. People say:
- An ugly truth is better than a good lie.
You have an honest lifestyle that always creates an attraction for others, because human nature is always towards the truth, about Suchness.
Sincerity always creates trust around you and is the warm spiritual support of friends and relatives. Whoever lives around you, or you live with them, they all feel safe and at ease because they don't have to be scrutinized, reserved, skeptical, afraid of being turned upside down, or having to discover the harsh, dark truths.
Honesty is shown not only in words but it must be deeply rooted in a sincere heart, with real feelings to be convincing. So be honest with others and with yourself. To do so, evaluate yourself correctly, do not deceive yourself, and do not deceive others.
This is only in real life, but even in work, in factories, this point is also highly appreciated. Because you may lack a bit of experience, but it's trainable. As for trust, it must be because of the sincerity that you have, no one can train you.
Living a lie and living a double life only makes wisdom, trickery is temporary wisdom, while sincerity and kindness are forever. Wise people often know how to please others in order to achieve success, so some of you have sought to please others by deceiving others for their own gain. The question asked is:
- How do you know a person is truly sincere?
The answer is:
An honest person has nine unmistakable expressions:
1- Don't try to get attention:
Sincere people don't need to take care of their egos. A person who is not sincere always tries to attract the attention of others and always has gaps that need to be filled. In contrast, sincere people are filled with self-confidence and self-awareness.
2- No need to please others
Sincere people don't care if their loved or not. Because the need to be loved arises from insecurity and excessive self-love. It leads to a desire to control one's own and other's emotions.
3- Always be wise
Sincere people stay sane even when those around them are mesmerized. Because naive people can be easily fooled but sincere people are not. Sincere people are always firm and alert to distinguish good from bad.
4- Words go hand in hand with actions:
Sincere people speak the truth, they can do what they say, they respect what they say. They do not define words and do not embellish reality. If others want to hear the truth, they won't hide it even if it hurts them and their listeners.
5- Always know enough:
Honest people do not ask for too much, they realize that happiness is not far away, it is in themselves, in the people they love, and in their work. They find happiness in very simple things.
6- Not egotistical:
Honest people are not too sensitive, they don't put their egos too high, they have the ability to let go of their egos and don't feel touched.
7- Not self-deprecating:
Honest people are not self-deprecating nor conceited, they are confident in their strengths so they have no need to brag. They don't flatter themselves and don't pretend to be modest.
8- Sustainability
An honest person has a firm mind, is steady, not easily shaken. They know themselves well and always express their true feelings, they can more or less guess your thoughts and actions in a positive way.
9- Do what they say:
Sincere people don't advise others to do things they wouldn't do. Because they realize that they are not better than anyone. Therefore, they do not tend to assume that they are always right. True serenity and happiness only come from the sincerity of the inside, not from the outside.
Honest people always keep peace of mind, not afraid to encounter accidents, while lies are often restless in the soul from one thing to another. To be honest, there is only one portrait that is not afraid of being discovered. Let's read the story of trying the bowl below
There was a young man who went to buy a bowl, and as soon as he came to the store, he grabbed a bowl with his hand. Then, in order, lightly pound the other bowls. When two bowls hit each other, it immediately makes a dull sound. He shook his head in disappointment. Then he tried again with other bowls. He tried almost all the porcelain bowls in the store and still couldn't find the one he wanted. Even the bowl that the owner considered the best product was returned by him shaking his head in disappointment.
The boss was very upset and asked:
- What do you use this bowl to knock on another bowl for?
          The young man replied:
- This is the tip of choosing a bowl that an elder taught, when one bowl lightly touches another bowl, if it emits a clear, easy-to-hear sound, it must be a good bowl.
Hearing that, the shop owner suddenly understood, took a bowl and gave it to him, then smiled and said:
- Hey, you take this and try it out, I'm sure you'll like it.
The young man half believed and half doubted, took the bowl to try. Strange! Each bowl in his hand, when lightly touched, made a clear, pleasant sound. He couldn't understand what was going on, so he asked the shop owner to clarify.
The shop owner smiled.
- It's very simple, the first bowl you took to try was a second-class bowl, if you used it to try the bowl, the sound would definitely be dull. If you want to get a good bowl, you must first make sure that the bowl you try is also good.
This story gives you morals:
- If you want others to be honest with you, you must first be honest with everyone.
Similarly, two bowls bumping into each other is like a heart with a heart, it takes honesty to have a sense of harmony and mutual respect. You carry suspicion and always be wary of others, it is difficult to avoid being doubted by others and not trusting you. In fact, each of you can become a noble in your life, the prerequisite is that you must be honest with others first.
If you show sincerity, you will receive corresponding credibility, if you give your heart of love, you will receive respect. On the contrary, if you lie, are suspicious, or even jealous of others, then what you will only get is aloofness and coldness.
A person, no matter how rich or noble, will have no value, and will not bring joy to anyone when they always carry in their hearts self-satisfaction, lies, and dishonesty. In each of you, there is a bowl, in other words, in each of you, there is an honest heart, containing beliefs, tolerance, and honesty, but can also contain lies. dishonest, narrow-minded, and selfish. Let's remove impurities in the bowl, or in the mind, then smile to receive the touch of contact with others, creating pure laughter, open and full of love.
Practice honest conduct and live well, you will definitely meet good people. Because living honestly is the simplest way to bring happiness. No matter how, then you show it like that, think how you say it, say it like that, and just take responsibility for yourself, no matter the outcome, your heart will be peaceful, extremely healthy, and happy then immediately present. Being honest is giving yourself the opportunity to improve. To live honestly is to believe in the tolerance and generosity of others for you. True living is an expression of love and sharing instead of antagonism and self-defense. Your true living is not trying to turn into someone, but still keeping the mind light and peaceful.
Again, as someone who is practicing genuine conduct, you should always keep in mind:
- It is not wise to act wise, say wise words, or do difficult things to be considered wise. Wise people are easy to succeed, but beyond wisdom is sincerity, a weapon to conquer everyone's heart.
In life, many people want to achieve success and believe that the key to that success is to become a wise person soon. Therefore, some people become wise by pleasing others, they may lie, live a double life, or go to great lengths to achieve their goals. Again, to repeat, an old sage once said:
- Superior wisdom, that is honesty.
The saying contains a lot of profound meanings and is still valid in today's life. If you apply this, although it is not certain that you will be successful in work, you will certainly succeed in life. Because honesty is always popular in life. Especially in today's society, everywhere you look, you see lies, and everywhere you look, you see flattery. You accept to live with it, but in return, mutual trust is gone. So life for some of you has become an illusory life
People with an honest lifestyle naturally have an uncanny attraction to others. Perhaps no matter how much you compete with life, human nature is always towards the truth, towards suchness.
That's why the ancients used to say:
- No matter what you say or do, you must always be honest.
That way you can see how valuable honesty is in this life. If you are sincere with each other, your feelings and relationships from intimacy to work will have enough faith to survive and succeed. Honest people will always be loved and have a peaceful, comfortable, and happy life.
So if you want to be a good person, you must first be an honest person, because if you are not honest with others but only tell lies, that friendship will never last. At the same time as a good person, you must know how to point out your friend's shortcomings, to help him get better. With that, living with sincere friends, life is always pleasant, and happy, always living in an atmosphere full of trust. Only then will life become meaningful and friendship will become more sacred and noble.
In short, practicing honest conduct will give you confidence, charisma, and strength. So be honest with others and with yourself. To do so, evaluate yourself correctly, do not deceive yourself, and do not deceive others. But all honesty must be shown intact, kindness, and culture or it can easily become unacceptably crude.
Honesty nature will help you a lot, in other words, honesty creates human character. Being honest is not always easy, it requires courage and being strict with yourself. Walter Anderson says:
- Life will change when you know how to seize the opportunities for you, but the first and most difficult opportunity is that you have to be honest with yourself.
Even when facing failures and losses, you still need to live honestly, so that you can hold your head up high and live and feel peace in your heart.
Honesty is not only good behavior between people but also an ethical standard that is admired and loved by many people. You practice honest conduct always promising a bright future. Because if you are honest, there are certainly good blessings. Even if your destiny is difficult, if you live honestly, you will still be able to transform your own destiny.
Honest people seem to be at a disadvantage at first, but what you get is always greater than expected, which is people's trust.
It can be said that where there is no honesty, there is no happiness and true friendship. Each of you in life only lives once, so live it to its fullest meaning. Only then will life advance and be filled with joy like a song:
- Every day I choose a joy,
Choose flowers, choose smiles
I pick up the leaves of the sky and invite you to hold them
Let your eyes smile like flying leaves
And so I live happily every day
And so I come to life
With my heart…
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