DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
WHEN MEETING GOSSIPS
- OF RIGHT & WRONG
By Nhat Quan
Thi Phi is a
common occurrence in life, it is like dust mixed in the wind
and in the sky. The things that are right and wrong, simply
understood, are public opinion:
- If it
doesn't happen, rumors say yes
- Fewer rumors
spread too many
- That's not
the case, but rumors spread a different kind of harm.
Chinese-Vietnamese, Thi is true, Phi is false. The word thi
phi go together, the will of the world's mouth cannot be
measured. Whoever wants to say right or wrong can say it,
whoever wants to make up a lot of things, no one can stop him.
and false stories in society always exist in two opposing
- Black and
- Love and
- Night and
- Sad and
and purity etc...
are contrasting pairs, they always exist in parallel and
cannot be separated, perhaps that's why it creates conflicts
and hatred in life. If only solid but not empty, the cup has
no capacity to contain. If there was only darkness without
light, man would not be able to do anything. So don't expect
that there is only right and no wrong.
right and wrong are gossip about someone, with something that
has negative, disparaging connotations. Therefore, no one
likes to be drawn into what is right and wrong, because it can
ruin a life, and sometimes even worse. There are some people
who are afraid of being drawn into what is right and wrong,
but most of them show interest and satisfaction when they
bring others out to talk about bad things.
True and false
stories do not reflect the truth, often stories that have been
added or removed, or only 3 parts real 7 parts fictional.
Therefore, stories that are true or false in history are only
considered unofficial history, that is, word of mouth, without
evidence or inconclusive evidence, or fabricated evidence. But
it is because of the addition or subtraction that the story of
right and wrong is always attractive, gradually they are
painted with mystical elements to excite the listener and
create excitement for those involved in that story.
like to talk nonsense are people who always have a need to
show that they are knowledgeable, and know things that people
don't know. Those who are curious about right and wrong are
curious, and inquisitive and like to interfere in other
people's affairs, from which to propagate, spread, and destroy
the influence or happiness of others. Both of these types of
people are selfish, unscrupulous people who are not afraid of
bad karma. Righteous, honest, virtuous people never do such
mistakes, if there is ever a time when you are about to tell,
or hear a story that is right or wrong, ask yourself if the
story is of any use to you. Does it have anything to do with
you and is it true?
If it has
nothing to do with you, does not increase or decrease your
benefits, or harms, and is not true, then it is best not to
speak and not to listen. In some cases, you just need to
deduce, understand, and just keep it to yourself.
How about in
the case of people who have trouble with gossip?
will more or less feel hurt, worried, fearful, or even
psychologically crisis, depending on the bravery of each
person. Of course, there are also people who become strong
because of right and wrong things, because they have to work
hard to prove the truth. And I think that is the most positive
and meaningful way.
If you are
scorned, scrutinized, and talked about behind your back, it's
best not to explain, don't make any excuses. Because the more
you try to explain, the more the story will spread and
stimulate the listener, for those who play, sit idle, and
specialize in badmouthing others. Your indifference will
frustrate those people, or make it impossible for them to add
to the story they hear. That's what the press is doing today,
scouring things like fashion models' revealing clothes,
footballers' extramarital affairs, and politicians' affairs.
When faced with the story of right and wrong for you, think
about whether there is some truth to it, why people
attribute it to you, and whether did you do something to
make them hate it or if they are jealous of you. If you
really have a few bad points, improve immediately. If you
find yourself clean and your conscience has no qualms, then
just keep living who you are, and work hard to be more
successful. Everything right and wrong will be dusted over
time. If you take a second to worry and cover up what's
right and wrong, you've wasted a second of your life.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with right and wrong. The
scary thing is that you are putting yourself in danger which
should never have happened. Therefore, the story of right
and wrong is sometimes also a reminder, a warning, and an
encouragement for your spirit to improve always moving
forward. But sometimes it also makes you headache, insecure,
feel tired and sometimes depressed, loses faith in life.
At such times, sometimes you think that you have to stay
away from this place and go to a place where there are no
"big mouth" people to find a more peaceful life. But that is
impossible because where there are people, there are good
and evil, right and wrong, good and bad, with there are big
Much of what is right and wrong is rooted in the greed to
possess, from the envy between people, because it is easy to
sympathize with the suffering of others, but to rejoice in
the success of others is very difficult. When you see
someone more successful or loved than you are, you tend to
get annoyed and seek to point out their tiniest faults. You
like looking into their private lives instead of looking at
their strengths or contributions to others. So the story of
right and wrong is sometimes the product of the human mind
woven. You look at someone with your narrow eyes from afar
and assume they are this way or that. You judge the deeds of
the sages through the prism, through your ordinary mind,
which is right and wrong, good and bad. After all, it is
also because your mind is full of afflictions, your heart is
narrow and cannot accommodate the advantages or
disadvantages of the human world. In life, no one can avoid
right and wrong, love and hate. Even the World-Honored One
or the saints cannot avoid it, you are a mortal and it is
difficult to avoid. Let me tell you the story:
Once, the Buddha went to teach in the area ruled by the
Brahmins, the Brahmin monks saw that their disciples
followed the Buddha too much, so they blocked the way and
scolded the Buddha. Buddha was still walking slowly forward.
But the group of Brahmins did not give up, and they still
followed and continued to curse the Buddha. Seeing that the
Buddha calmly kept silent and continued to move forward,
they became angry, stopped the Buddha, and asked:
- Are you deaf?
- I'm not deaf.
- You're not deaf, why can't you hear me curse?
- Hey Brahmin, if your family has a party, relatives come to
attend, and after the party, they leave, you give them a
gift they don't accept, then whose hand does that gift go
- That gift is about me.
- In the same way, if you curse at me, if I don't accept it,
you will accept it yourself.
The Brahmins called out the Buddha's name, but he did not
accept it. As for you, just listen to shadow talk, wherever
the wind is, you also listen to it, to be sad to be angry.
Thus, seeing the wild words of sentient beings, the Buddha
did not accept or be sad. And you are delusional, only one
word is heavier, but you hold it forever in your heart so
that suffering is constant.
Usually, when you are faced with right and wrong things, you
often lose your temper, then you run east to west to explain
the problem, or find a way to respond to win or lose until
the end. However, the wise are at ease, just sitting quietly
watching it come and go, self-born and self-destructed.
Because, more than anyone else, they know what they are
doing, they know how to master and control their mind not
because those tumultuous noises creep into their hearts to
lose their inner balance. That is why their life is always
You should know, whether you are right or wrong, trying to
justify, trying to clear things up through argument, will
only make things worse. In any case, silence is always the
optimal solution. Silence indicates your competence, it can
give truth, and it can be eloquent. It can calm anger. It
can be coaxing. It is composure. Sometimes it's braver than
In the sutras, the Buddha said that when an evil person
scolds a good person, a good person does not accept that
scolding, then the consequences of that scolding will harm
the evil person. Just like a person with his face up to the
sky spitting saliva, the saliva does not reach the sky but
falls right down to the face of the sprayer. So if you
receive it, you will be attached to suffering, if you don't
receive it, you will be happy. Knowing this, from now on, if
you hear anything about yourself, good or bad, don't accept
it, you will be happy. This is the opposite, most of you
have the defect of hearing people say bad things about you
through the mouth of the second or third person, then you
will find clues to receive and then get angry, delusional,
and disturbed, which is not good
Of course, not all right and wrong words are easy to ignore.
There are insults to your personality, affecting not only
you but also creating a wave of public opinion on the
psychology of those around you. These people can, from right
and wrong words, perceive you incorrectly.
However, stay calm. Because right and wrong words will only
affect those who superficially judge the problem from the
mouth. But those who are profound, and knowledgeable, can
look deeply, look broadly, and only comment when they have
carefully appraised. So, if you're right, keep your mind
steady, because it's not difficult when you get past the
untrue, groundless gossip.
Because of the predestined karma in this world, anyone who
grows up has never been entangled in right and wrong things.
Even when the Buddha was still alive, he suffered enough
scandals from the Brahmin's mouth. The only thing is,
whoever meets right and wrong and walks gently through it is
a person who understands, who sees right and wrong but
reaches for it and hangs it around his neck as an ornament,
who has no practice.
Today, you are living in an era of high technology,
everywhere there is free wifi, everywhere is on sale, then
for just a few dozen dollars, you have a sim card that can
call the whole United States, for months at no extra cost.
And the consequences of right and wrong things caused in the
process of you speaking without knowing what you say are
unpredictable. Light is painful for a few individuals, and
heavy is destroying an entire community. Then whether
intentionally or unintentionally, the earth is round, and
the right and wrong words that you gently sow keep growing,
growing, until one day in your peace you are accidentally
knocked down by your own right and wrong...
It is with the person who sows right and wrong. What about
those who suffer from right and wrong?
People who suffer right and wrong, if they don't know how to
deal with it, don't have the courage to overcome it, will
often suffer and are extremely tired. But right and wrong is
something you are more likely to encounter than trash on the
street many times, especially if you are an active person
with many ups and downs in life. Because if you just have a
normal life, with few bumps, there's not much to talk about.
And you are a person who has gone through many experiences,
many ups and downs, then you suffer more right and wrong
words than anyone else. Because when you are promoted, your
job is smooth, every party you are the one paying, everyone
compliments you..., you find yourself creating quite a lot
of favors. But when your business fails, it's normal to have
tons of people turn away.
So what do you have to do so that when things are right and
wrong, you can still walk through it?
Perhaps you just consider those things right and wrong as an
inevitable things you will have to meet and face in life.
Better yet, pretend you haven't heard what they say. That is
also the way the ancients used to teach their descendants in
an ancient legend. The story is that:
On a leisurely morning, King Duong Thai Tong asked a great
mandarin named Hua Kinh Ton:
- I see your dignity is not a bad person. Why are there so
many right and wrong words, and hate you so much?
Hua Kinh Ton replied:
- Your Majesty. The spring rain pours like oil, the farmer
is happy for the soil to be impregnated, and the pedestrians
hate it because the road is slippery. The autumn moon is
bright like a mirror hanging in the night sky, poets are
happy because they have the opportunity to enjoy the moon,
read poetry, and sing. But thieves hate it because the
moonlight is too bright, they can't steal. Heaven and earth
are inherently unbiased, but the weather when it is sunny
and when it rains is still blamed and hated by the world.
And I am not a perfect person, how can I avoid criticism?
So the foolish
mandarin thinks, for the right and wrong in the world, you
should calm down and consider, don't be in a hurry to listen
and believe. The king believed and listened to what was right
and wrong, the mandarin was harmed. Parents who believe in
what is right and wrong, their children are abandoned. When
husband and wife believe and listen to right and wrong, the
family is separated. The voice of right and wrong of the world
is more poisonous than the venom of a centipede, sharper than
a sword, killing people without seeing blood.
above is the best example for you to learn from when faced
with gossip about right and wrong. That is:
- Don't hear,
don't see, and don't care!
achieving that state is not easy.
conversations, I always try to avoid mentioning someone who is
absent. Even talking is just saying nice things and trying to
find common topics and fun things to talk about.
from bad minds, from bad mouths that cause pain or suffering
to others. Especially today on the internet system is very
easy, you just click a mouse and all three thousand worlds
appear, including good and bad. Rumors thus spread more
quickly and easily. And that's why its dangers are even more
unpredictable. It makes the victim feel ashamed and desperate,
if not lucid enough, they will think distraught and seek
As a mundane
person, everyone has advantages and disadvantages in
character, and mistakes in work, no one is perfect. Knowing
that you should understand and sympathize with each other to
avoid causing pain to each other even with a word
unintentionally or intentionally. So practicing oral karma,
although it seems simple, sometimes you cannot do it for the
rest of your life. Therefore, do not follow the rumors of the
public to follow the criticism of someone's words when you are
not an insider.
If you do not
want to bring disaster to your body, you should be careful
with your words, listen, observe, and use wisdom to determine
what is right and wrong in life. If you encounter right and
wrong things in life, you should calmly reflect on yourself,
no more than lose, no distractions, just quietly observe it
coming and going as the World-Honored One taught.
right and wrong are from the place of oral karma. Evil oral
karma from words creates bad consequences, harming the speaker
and those involved. Mouth karma also affects the whole
community and the whole society. Instead of being drawn into
the matter of right and wrong, if you know love language,
which means saying good words and beautiful ideas, you and
those around you will enjoy it.
have cultivated and have a proper understanding of oral karma
are often very careful when speaking. They know how to speak
at the right time in both content and form. People with
cultivation know how to speak so as not to upset the listener.
When they see someone in the family or group of friends doing
something wrong, they also find a way to speak tactfully and
at the right time to advise them.
have learned to understand speech should only use words when
necessary and speak to achieve the results they want without
hurting the listener. People who have cultivated and learned
often speak to the Buddha's mind, that is, use compassion,
joy, and equanimity to speak. Before speaking, they even sit
down to calm their hearts, let their minds be pure, and then
speak. At that time, there will be fewer useless and even bad
words. Wise people know that if the words you are about to say
can have bad consequences, they usually don't say it.
Because if you
can't control your words, you create bad oral karma. But bad
oral karma certainly leaves bad consequences, either
immediately, or for a long time later.
to hear beautiful words and soothing sounds. You too. Why do
you say unkind words? I often think to myself:
- Does the
audience want to hear what I have to say? If the answer is no,
I usually try not to say it.
If you speak
out and cause hatred, you create bad karma yourself. Bad karma
drags you around in samsara with constant suffering. The
Buddha taught that out of ten human karmas, there is four oral
karma, which is nearly half. That is: If there is no, say yes,
if there is, say no. Speak evil. Two-way tongue talk. Speak
karma is one of the heaviest karma you create. Everyone knows
that physical wounds heal more easily than verbal wounds
In short, to
avoid being drawn into right and wrong things, you must know
how to maintain your oral karma. Just like in life. No matter
how rich you are, if you don't save, your money will run out.
Moreover, you need to understand that the property and wealth
of this life are due to good karma, due to the merits of the
previous life. If you only know how to spend but do not know
how to earn more, that is, if you do not create good karma,
that treasure will one day run out.
If you have
studied Buddhism, and know how to study and practice the
Buddha's teachings, that's great. From the right
understanding, you apply and live and get results, you get
Buddhist scriptures, the words that the Buddha spoke, soft
words, persuaded the hearts of sentient beings. Sentient
beings in the Dharma Realm are very interested in hearing the
Buddha's teachings and are convinced by all of the Buddha's
phonetics. That's because the Buddha has practiced for many
generations, so there is a reason for his kind words.
If the mouth
speaks good words, there is a lot of kindness in the heart,
then a good magnetic field will come from the universe. And
get good feedback. To be considered a charitable act, it is
necessary to know enough and thank you first. Knowing enough
is a kind of achievement. The more a person cultivates, the
more he needs to be self-sufficient. For any foreign
situation, when a person who knows how to practice, knows
enough and is grateful, that is representative of diligence
and progress. So:
- People in
everyday life have a lot of right and wrong things
What is right,
what is wrong?
Right is the
truth, wrong is not true
What is the
difference between truth and no truth?
practitioners see right and wrong
what the world wants
All the world
is a dream
does not count, what to do wrong.
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