Words are the means that you use to express your thoughts
and feelings, as well as a means of communication between
people and people in society.
Speech can take many forms:
- Speak from the mouth
- Write on the page
- Words without words are expressed through gestures,
Of the three ways of speaking, you find that words written
on paper and expressed through gestures are relatively
less dangerous because you have time to think, write, or
express attitudes, so it is easy to modify and adjust. .
So the chances of making others suffer are relatively
small unless you want to do bad things and don't want to
adjust for good. Only words expressed through the mouth
are the most important and dangerous. Of course, there
must be thoughts of the mind, and the mind can come out
into words. Speech, if guided by an unrighteous,
unwholesome mind, will create suffering and sin. Saying
untruthful and unkind words is to create oral karma, and
later suffering and afflictions are inevitable. A spoken
word will be like an arrow that flies away at a terrible
speed, the arrow will slam into the point where the
shooter has aimed, and there is no way to stop it, the
- One word, even four good horses are difficult to keep
The deep cause of speech comes from within, from the mind.
Therefore, the evil words that come out through the
outside mouth prove that you have evil from your heart. As
for the evil that comes out of the mouth, it is from the
heart, it is those evil words that make you unclean.
Similarly, in the heart come evil intentions, murders,
adultery, theft, false witness and slander, etc. Once the
heart is bad, it cannot produce well. It is because they
perceive evil in the hearts of bad people that the
venerable ones have warned:
- Those poisonous snakes, when they meet people, must
release venom. Because its heart is full of poison, only
then will the mouth release poison.
You too. If you are good, then manifest the good from your
good treasure. If you are the bad guy, show the bad from
your bad store.
Because envy and jealousy are more or less in your soul,
you are easily tempted to say harmful words to someone,
ruining their reputation and spiritual life. Therefore, to
be able to say what is good and beneficial for you, for
others, and for the world, first of all, it is required of
- Edit and purify from within your lap
- Speak at the right time, the right moment
And the most important thing is to have love. When you
have a heart that truly loves people, you naturally know
how to speak appropriately and benefit the listener.
Using negative criticism shows that you don't have love.
Negative criticism is a way of erasing someone else's name
to replace your own. It speaks of jealousy and the
intention to take unfairly and unjustly. This is a very
mean treatment, but it still happens every day in human
social life. This careless treatment is the way you create
the most injustice for yourself. Therefore, words must be
timely and always alert for situations:
1- Talk bad, say good about someone
The basic in love is to want good, and gentleness for
others. You also want to see yourself as good among
people, but when you speak badly of someone, you are no
longer good. How can you speak ill of others when inside
you want to love and do good to them? This contradiction
shows that you are divided and confused. Moreover, when
you speak badly of others, you want to judge them and
humiliate them. If you are not conscious and drastic to
prevent it by all means, then defamation becomes a
lifelong disease habit:
- People who are used to saying insulting words to others
will never be able to correct and teach them in their
When talking about others, if you can speak well for them,
then speak; if you can't, keep your mouth shut, lest the
reputation of others be harmed and you yourself also bring
disaster. Saying bad things about others is to show that
you are good, but good people do not speak badly of
others. Only those who are responsible have the duty to
Every word is just a way to show your inner self. Good
words to others show the goodness of your heart. On the
other hand, speaking ill of others shows the wickedness of
your heart. Especially the words of lies, conceit,
jealousy, and showing a pathetic soul. The Buddha said
these things as follows:
- The greatest ignorance in life is a lie.
- The biggest failure in human life is pride and arrogance
- The greatest tragedy in life is envy.
2- Perspectives on talking less, talking more
The question is: talking less is good, or is less talking
Depending on the nature of each person, speaking less,
clearly, and concisely is still better. Say less, is not
less talk, but speak just enough for each issue.
Meanwhile, speaking less often makes it difficult for
others to understand you, or misunderstand. Agree that,
people believe in what you do, not in your words, but
being quiet is easy to lose sociality and lose the
openness that is necessary for everyday life. It's scary
to talk too much. Proverbs shows:
- People who often talk often make many mistakes. Those
who are careful with their words are wise.
Indeed, no matter how good it is to say it when you talk a
lot, you will always come up with something bad. You have
two ears but only one tongue, so you can hear more and
talk less. Also, not every question deserves an answer.
You must clearly understand the mind of the person who
wants to ask, ask sincerely or want to provoke. Ask to
find out or to retort.
3- Conscious of praise and criticism
Many times you overuse and squander compliments and
criticisms, and belittle and encourage those around you,
making them easily frustrated and discouraged, no longer
interested in developing their abilities and creativity at
work. To speak such words shows a shallow and poor soul.
Because they are shallow, they are superficial in their
judgment, unable to see the excellence and goodness of
others to praise. Because of poverty, there is nothing to
give to others, even giving is for harm by disparaging
words and contempt.
In fact, it's not that you don't see the good and the
right, as well as the good in others. But then because of
arrogance, conceit, pride, and envy, you don't want to see
them, you don't want to promote them. On the contrary, you
also want to find a way to criticize to bring others down.
Moreover, there are times when it is even taboo to dig up
other people's private past stories to criticize and
condemn ... Actually when you do so, you bring down your
own yourself, and destroy your personality.
Faced with compliments, criticisms, and good or bad words
about yourself, you need to train yourself to have a calm
- Not eager for praise,
- Also not upset because of the criticism;
- Not happy when people say good things, but also not
discouraged because people say bad things.
Words of praise or criticism, good or bad of others, are
only in relative terms. Not because others say good that
you are good, people say badly that you are bad. Good or
bad you know. Don't let the gossip or cover-up of others
manipulate your soul, because:
- Compliments easily make you delusional; Criticism can
easily make you mistaken.
So you must consider praise as an encouragement, and
criticism as a warning. However, it is also important to
be careful about compliments and criticisms.
Don't be afraid to be blamed, and don't like praise.
Because there are things that are reproach but are
actually praise, and there are things that are praise but
are actually slander.
In fact, it is often right that people criticize you, and
it is worth it to speak ill of you. All must be received
and purified on your part, not generating negative
reactions. The negative reaction is to choose a lowly,
unreasonably self-deprecating attitude due to the words of
others. Take it as a challenge to overcome yourself. That
is the true attitude of a self-respecting person, and
respecting self-worth is a call to rise above mediocrity.
4- Be careful with the speaker, the listener
Those who speak are sowing seeds, and those who hear are
reaping fruits. Sowing is to know what kind of seed you
sow, good seed or bad seed. The reaper must also know what
you are reaping, reaping grass, or reaping rice. Knowing
evil and still sowing is evil, knowing grass and still
reaping is foolish. In addition to the speaker's intention
to spread malicious news, and the listener's appetite for
bad things, it is also an agreement and complicity with
evil that creates more chaos in people's lives. While the
spirit of Buddhists wants to gather and unite people, you
cause division, which is the kind of people who break
religion and harm people. While Buddhists want to spread
love everywhere, listeners and speakers break together,
people who are used to living under the influence of evil.
Accustomed to being restrained by bad things, you are no
longer able to say and hear good things. You never accept
that you are bad, but when others point you out, you
consider it insulting. But see the fruit to know the tree,
the fact has proven, you can not deny. The ancients said:
- Even talking about others is a way of talking about you,
it is a way of exposing yourself.
Bad things, good things, mind, and character are all
revealed in words. Those who are less experienced can't
see it, but those who are experienced can see it quite
clearly. Your words, tone, shape, and style of speech give
others a fairly accurate assessment of your inner self. Of
course, there are old foxes who can trick and fool people,
but then time is still an effective way for people to
grasp the basics of who you are good or bad.
When speaking, also know who you are talking to, who you
are talking about, and whether it is worth talking about
or not. Those who are worth talking to, but you don't talk
about, lose people. Those who are not worth talking but I
say, lose their words. Losing anything is a pity, but the
most regrettable thing is losing yourself, when saying
things that need not be said, should not be said, and are
not allowed to be said, or said at the wrong time, at the
right time, in the right place, with the right person, it
is truly a pity
Listeners too must be very careful, not everything is
heard, and must know what they are listening to. You
listen only to what is worth hearing and discard what is
not. Hear something, you always have to think again, can't
follow the public opinion or the crowd, even the powerful.
Can't let you listen to others easily. If anyone says
anything, you will hear it, then you are no longer you
because you have lost your active posture because you
yourself have not considered and determined whether it is
right or wrong. Therefore, you do not need to believe
everything to accept it, but you must be careful to judge
and select what you hear. You need to listen with your
mind and heart, not with your ears. The ear is only the
way in, but the truth must be screened by the mind and the
heart to feel it honestly.
There are people who speak very well, but in relationships
with people, even loved ones, listening is never
associated with trust. If you combine these two into one,
you are the most foolish, the most vulnerable, and the
most likely to fail. Therefore, whatever you hear must be
verified by reality, not only indirectly but also directly
to notice. Not only with your ears, eyes, and mind but
also with your own experience as well as that of others.
That is the wisest attitude. Granted, people may tell you
the truth, but sometimes the truth is distorted more or
less, due to subjective emotions and prejudice when that
person telling you.
Moreover, to understand what others say is not to
understand their words or arguments, but to understand
their mind. Fraudsters are often very clever in what they
say, to seduce or draw you towards them, and there are
always hidden traps that make you easy to fall into.
The purpose of every word is to reach mutual
understanding, to find the truth, and to lead a harmonious
life in a happy life. The important and useful thing is
not the number of words, but the quality of what you say,
and also knowing how to consider the dose to be just
enough and appropriate in each situation and person. Also,
don't think that by speaking harshly, other people can
hear you. The stronger and more bitter the words, the more
evidence of a weak argument, the more evidence of an
immature and unconvincing soul. Therefore, the polite
word, the gentle word, is, in all, the most powerful word.
In life, everyone has an opinion, no one is the same, it
is difficult for you to avoid collisions and conflicts
because of disagreements with each other. But even if
there are conflicts, people who know how to cultivate will
choose words to say to each other in a peaceful and
friendly manner. When speaking, it must be at the right
time and in the right place, so as not to hurt or upset
others. Peaceful mouth without controversy, peaceful
speech, and non-controversy are one of the six dharmas of
a pure and peaceful life of the Buddha's disciples.
The words are gentle, friendly, and do not hurt or bother
others ... called loving speech. This is also one of the
four ways that Bodhisattvas use to subdue and teach
sentient beings. But, it is not necessarily in the noble
work of the Bodhisattva that love speech is needed, but
even in the daily life of people together, loving speech
is always needed. At the initial simple level, without any
great treatment, you can be friendly and love each other,
first of all, because of the way you talk to each other.
On the contrary, you hate each other, resent and enmity
with each other also from the words at the beginning.
There are love words that make listeners remember for a
lifetime. Having the right words at the right time is for
you to change the direction of your life toward honesty.
But there are also bad words, you hear and still carry to
death without forgetting. There are words that are not in
time, not in place, burying a good future of the listener.
There are words with high, far, and profound meanings that
are handed down from generation to generation, from
country to country, becoming immortal quotations. Thus, it
shows that words at first glance seem to be nothing, but
are of great importance. Therefore, the Venerable Virtues
guide the students, in daily life, they should treat each
other with good words. Because we realize that loving
speech is one of the four methods of capturing people's
hearts. However, in the end, loving speech is still not as
meaningful as good language. The loving language that is
called good language requires 5 elements:
1- Speak politely:
It is soft-spoken, gentle, and humble. The speech shows
politeness, tact, politeness, respect from top to bottom,
proper address, and not empty speech, accompanied by a
gentle and courteous attitude...
2- Speak in a timely manner:
It is speaking at the right time, with the right person,
in the right situation. You can't say whatever you want to
say, say it when you meet anyone, and say it wherever you
go. Speaking inappropriately, even if it is a love
language, will be criticized for being ungrateful.
3. Tell the truth:
Is to speak truth to the objective truth, that is, how you
see, you are said like that, and how you think you speak
with your mind. Either way, you say it right, whatever you
think you say it. Otherwise, the more you speak, the more
you will reveal the so-called cunning. Speaking
dishonestly, the listener may deceive you the first time,
but then they will no longer believe you. People's trust
in each other is extremely important.
4. Useful speech:
Even if you say gentle and friendly words that are useless
to the listener, it is only a waste of time. Useless words
no one wants to hear.
5. Speak with compassion:
It's for people to say, out of love for people, who want
to bring benefits to people should speak. To speak without
kindness is to speak for your own needs, to say it to
brag, to show off. This is something you often stumble
upon because your big ego makes you only see yourself and
want everyone to hear you. So you often speak for your own
need to speak rather than for others.
Because of fear of words harming you, harming others, the
ancients were very careful with their words. In order to
control speech from harming oneself and others, there is a
story in Chinese Literature:
- The people of the country of Lu cast a bronze statue
nearly 10' high, with three locks in the mouth. When the
people of the Qi country came to see, they did not
understand the meaning, so they found someone to ask, but
no one wanted to clarify. Finally met an old man who told
the people of the Qi state:
- That statue concretizes the aphorism: The hole in the
mouth has three keys.
The people of Qi asked again:
- Why lock up to three keys?
The old man replied:
- If there is only one lock, where is the lock? Lock where
the right edge is, then the middle of the mouth, and the
left edge is open. Lock on the left edge, then between the
mouth and the right edge is open. Lock in the middle of
the mouth, then the two sides are open. Lock one, then
open two places. Lock two and open one. A slightly open
mouth or a lot of it is harmful. If you want to be really
secret, you have to lock three locks.
It seems that keeping your mouth like that is really
thorough. Looking at the old stories left behind, you see
that people in the past as well as in this life like to
talk, and like to talk a lot. But remember, speaking is
the purpose of transmitting to others to understand your
intentions. So it is not necessary to say much to lose
breath, but only to find a way to say so that your words
reach the listener's ears to achieve the goal.
In short, the purpose of speech is to convey information
and share thoughts and feelings between you and the
listener. If that goal is not achieved, the word is
considered useless. And, the words spoken with sweetness,
and gentleness... must also come from the true heart. If
you need to choose your words, and correct your mind to
have loving and kind words, I think, first of all, you
have to take care of your mind, be honest, be at peace
with people, and speak from inner peace and goodness is
naturally filled with human love. Having loved each other,
the words themselves will be gentle and lovely.
Therefore, choosing what to say means that you need to
carefully consider when using words with people to avoid
unfortunate mistakes, and avoid creating speech karma. You
also need to always consider the consequences of your
words. Cause and effect is an eternal law that leaves no
one behind. To speak is to sow, to hear is to reap, but
sow the wind and reap a whirlwind.
Words are the expression of the human heart. And more than
that, words are what judge a personality and measure the
height and width of a mind. Language is the adornment that
Buddhism calls the dignity of man, the flowering of